I’m Paul from Scotland. I am married and have 3 daughters and recently 2 cute grandbabies. I am a keen photographer, love music and spending time in nature. I am currently in a partial remission stage and stable since my last scan.
I was first diagnosed in September 2015 following a referral through my GP to haematology. Following blood tests, a scan and then a bone marrow biopsy, I met with my consultant who diagnosed me with follicular lymphoma. I took my dad along to the appointment for support and to help ask any questions as it’s a lot of information to take in. The consultant said that I was at an advanced stage with B symptoms and that I had likely had the disease for several years.
I had been struggling with fatigue, constant infections and drenching night sweats and was becoming really frustrated as I could feel something was wrong, yet my GP was not getting to the bottom of it. So, in a strange way, I was glad that they had picked something up and I could hopefully get back to feeling more like myself. I was anxious, but remained hopeful during the consultation and remember a feeling of relief when the consultant said that the disease is low-grade (not aggressive) and treatable.
This feeling soon turned when he explained that although the disease is treatable it is most likely incurable and could come back every so often, potentially requiring treatment such as chemotherapy, as needed.
At this point it felt like my world had fallen in. I remember feeling really numb and quite confused by this statement. Treatable but not curable, has been one of the hardest things to accept with the diagnosis, but I have learned to live with it and really hope that the advances in medical science will soon find a cure within my lifetime.
Following diagnosis, I was started on 6 rounds of chemotherapy (R-Bendamustine followed by 6 monthly infusions of only Rituximab). Following the initial 6 rounds I achieved remission and as I built up strength and confidence, I decided it would be a great time to make some life changes.
I had worked for myself selling furniture for several years and this brought about its own challenges due to taking time out to recover, along with the pressures of running a small business. I decided that every cloud has a silver lining and to follow my own heart and do something that could enrich my own quality of life. My passion is photography; so I enrolled on an HND (Higher National Diploma) course at the local college and following successful completion went on to undertake my degree in photography at university. The entire experience was incredible, with highlights including a trip to Paris to visit Paris Photo Week with my like-minded peers.
I have met so many new, great friends through my FL journey and have enjoyed working on projects and exhibitions which probably would never have happened if I had not had to make these changes following my diagnosis of follicular lymphoma.
So, the point I would like to make is a cancer diagnosis is never a good thing, but often positive things come from a negative situation as we reclaim our lives from the disease.
Of course, there have been challenges. In January 2022 just as I had started my honours year at university, I received news following a CT scan that I had relapsed. Further tests showed that my disease had also transformed into large diffuse B cell lymphoma, which is a higher grade, more aggressive disease. I received 6 rounds of R-Chop chemotherapy, then an autologous stem cell transplant in May 2022.
Results are showing complete remission from the large diffuse B cell, and partial but stable remission of my FL which is good news, and I hope I can stay in remission long-term. During my recovery, I have enjoyed keeping busy with photography and spending time with my family. The arrival of my grandchildren has made such a positive impact and keeps my days busy and fun-filled.
If I could offer advice or guidance, it would be to be gentle with yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion you would to a friend or loved one going through this. Many of us are great at caring and showing empathy towards others, yet struggle to extend this to ourselves. Learn to appreciate the simpler things in life; find a hobby, something that you enjoy for yourself and do what makes you happy. Spend time in nature and with family and friends.
For me, photography and spending time walking and taking photos in nature really helped my own recovery. The photo I have selected of myself is from a personal project exploring self-compassion. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and turned the camera on myself (which I don’t enjoy) to capture and share this very intimate image of myself with the magnifying glass highlighting the only visible evidence of my stem cell transplant – the small scar from where my pick line was fitted.
Stay strong and find the positives that can arise from what may be a negative at first.
