My name is Katie, and I’m a 41-year-old mom of two wonderful boys, aged 10 and 13, living in the US. On March 4, 2024, my life took a sharp turn when I was diagnosed with FL after celebrating 16 years of being cancer-free. This was my second encounter with cancer, having previously battled large diffuse B-cell lymphoma in 2008. The doctors suspected there might have been FL present back then, which is why it resurfaced after so many years.
I have always been so proud to say I’m a cancer survivor. I had just celebrated 16 years cancer-free, and we celebrated big. I have never dwelled on what I went through, and my kids know that I am a survivor.
I have never experienced fear like I did the weeks leading up to my FL diagnosis and the actual diagnosis day. Some say how? You’ve been through this before. But let me tell you, having kids changes everything. I was crushed to my core and absolutely devastated. The doctor called at 4:50pm on a Monday. He wasn’t the best with his words and even said “You are only one year older than me and you’ve had this twice now, this really sucks.” Hearing that made me feel like I was already dead and had no chance. It was awful. But it’s funny how fast I had to switch back to mom mode. My youngest son had soccer practice and I had to get him ready to go. I’m not sure how I got him to practice that day but somehow, I did. It wasn’t until 2 months later that I had the courage to tell the boys. The absolute hardest part of being diagnosed was telling them and all of my family who have been through this with me before. March 4th, 2024 forever changed my life.
Reflecting on my journey with FL, I realise that I might have been living with it unknowingly for years. Although I was declared “cured” of large diffuse B-cell lymphoma, I think these bad cells were hanging around for a long time. Now, armed with more knowledge about FL, I feel much more confident moving forward. I refuse to let this define me. I feel healthy. I am happy. I will absolutely not let this change that. Nonetheless, there are moments of doubt and frustration. I still consider myself young to be dealing with this, and it’s hard not to wonder, “why me?”
Currently, I am undergoing my second week of radiation. Now that I’m being treated for a second time in my life, I feel so safe. I’m surrounded by brilliant people who are checking on me every single day. The hardest part currently is coping after these daily appointments are over and I’m set free. Will I know if something is wrong? It’s a scary feeling.
The biggest triumph has been speaking out. At first, I thought I wanted to limit my news to my family. Everyone knows I have been through this before and honestly, saying out loud I have it again makes me feel like I lost the battle. Like I am disappointing everyone. Like I’m sick and dying. And I know none of that is true. When I spun my thinking around, I realised how empowering it can be to share. I am bringing awareness to this disease and honestly, I feel like a badass for living through this for a second time. But most of all, expressing the importance of early detection to my community has been the best. If I can get one person to go to the doctor when something feels or seems off, I feel like I have made a difference and potentially saved lives.
To those in the FL community, my advice is to maintain a positive attitude. Find others who are your age or were your age at diagnosis to look at for inspiration. Talk. Cry. Do all the things! I feel like I have already been an inspiration to young women who I have talked to who are going through the same thing. I went through hell in 2008 and went on to have two healthy, beautiful boys naturally after.
I truly have the best life and every day is such an amazing thing. Live your life, don’t take anything for granted! Advocate like crazy for yourself!
